Do you groan inwardly because youd been looking forward to finally relaxing this weekend, but then suppress it and paste a smile on your face and say yes. This will just prolong the situation and make you feel even more stressed. The book changes your perspective on saying no by underscoring the importance of focusing on the things you want to say yes to. But michael doesnt explain how to say no in this post, only that ive got to start doing it.
Consider the case of anna, a manager in a large accounting firm. The authors pioneering assertiveness training technique can help you gain recognition and promotion on the job, renew your marriage, put more zing in your sex life, deal with your. Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of the disease to please. Buy dont say yes when you want to say no book online at. If they say no, youre happy because it wasnt a great fit anyway, so its not. The psychological cost of never saying no harley therapy. Its their story of raising kids who are creative and chasing the dream gods given them. Anna is a great team player and readily pitches in when her teams workload gets heavy, especially during the tax season. In the introduction to the book, the author explains that there are three responses to someone who asks us to do something we dont want to do. Dont say yes when you really want to say no right attitudes. All i am saying is that parenting is by sayyes96 september 23, 2019 0. Never say yes, no, no, never say yes its the oldest game in the world and you gotta know how to play it tell her yes in so many ways but never ever say it now thats how i keep goin on here today, tomorrow gone and thats the kind of life for me being free like i wanna to be heres the secret of my success never say yes, no, no, never say yes. If you have ever talked yourself out of a goal, stuggled to create change in an organization, or had difficulty managing personal and professional. Seriously, i bought it for its title but this book has more than that no.
These are the things an inability to say no can lead to. Dont say yes when you want to say no awful library books. When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Youve inspired me, though, and i have to ponder this a bit before i can list what i will say no to i want it to be intentional, so i need to think and pray about it. We need to learn how to feel comfortable saying no. Paulo coelho dont say yes if you want to say no facebook. This fun little book will help you figure out what you have been saying, yes, but, to, what that has been costing you, and how to transform your results by switching to yes, and. The negotiated no you have probably heard of the negotiated no which also employs a yes if response. If they say no, youre happy because it wasnt a great fit anyway, so its not worthwhile for a small return on your time and effort. Some people will think youre a jerk anyway, no matter how nice you really are. Most people realize that its virtually impossible to say yes to everything and still get their own work done properly. According to voss, one of the first steps in any negotiation is.
Dont say yes when you want to say no by herbert fensterheim. The guide has been of help to thousands of people and intends to help many more. No, no, never say yes its the oldest scheme in the world and you gotta know how to play it tell her yes in so many ways and never ever say it thats how i keep goin on here today tomorrow gone thats the kind of life for me being free like i want to be heres the secret of my success never say yes. Apr 25, 2011 if they say yes, youre happy because the terms or money are so good, it more than compensates for the distraction, possibly even funding the thing you really want to do. If you have ever talked yourself out of a goal, stuggled to create change in an organization, or. Sometimes the best way to say no is to simply and directly say no. Many people have a kneejerk reaction to say yes when theyre asked to do someone a favor. Dont say yes when you want to say no book by jean baer. Sites like and invite users to make a list of goals they want to achieve and. Open library is an open, editable library catalog, building towards a web page for every book ever published. We wont be able to say yes to the really important things.
Its written by mark and jan foreman, parents of jon and tim of switchfoot. Say yes to saying no share according to a recent study on holiday weight gain, up to half of the weight gained during the months of november and december is lost shortly after the holidays, while the other half of the weight gained during that time remains with us through the summer months and beyond. So stop worrying about what people think, and just say no already. Dont say ill think about it if you dont want to do it. Saying no doesnt mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. If you never say no, this can have negative consequences. Jan 01, 2008 buy dont say yes when you want to say no book online at best prices in india on. Celiac counsellors corner is a place where sherry scheideman, m. Read the book over and over again, fascinated by the stories. Your ultimate guide to saying no to people you cant say no to. They would like you to say a different yes and a different no. Buy a cheap copy of dont say yes when you want to say no book by jean baer. Nov 05, 2014 provided to youtube by sony music entertainment never say yes elvis presley spinout.
The negotiated yes is more likely to get the other side engaged in the negotiations, a very important step and one not always easily achieved. I have learned that if you live your life depending on other peoples approval, you will never feel free. If you choose some unpopular nos so you can have a whole heart full of yes, not everyone will be thrilled for you, is what i am saying. As celiacs, many of our social and emotional issues arise from wanting to say yes, but needing to say no. Salut neversayyes beau gosse des iles qui stream tout les jours. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no. The simple word no is often the most difficult to say.
But, if you dont know you should say no, this book wont help. Dont say yes when you want to say no is a bestselling guide for people who want to learn how to say what they mean and mean what they say. If you know you should say no but dont want to, again there is no help. Provokes a counteroffer even if the other side cannot agree with your yes, if. It might seem to make your relationships better if. There are lots of long and complicated books about it. Women often are reluctant, shy away from it, or lack the confidence to negotiate on behalf of themselves. Learning to say no has challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection and helped me.
Imagine a scenario and then practice saying no either by yourself or with a friend. Reading this book brought back an old saturday night skit, daily affirmation with stuart smalley remember folks, im good enough, im smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less than wow. Mar 29, 2019 many people have a kneejerk reaction to say yes when theyre asked to do someone a favor. Never forget the value of this lesson because its going to take you places and show you things you can only dream of now. Aug 21, 2014 we wont be able to say yes to the really important things. It has some good ideas about reinforcers, assertion vs aggression, goal orientation and lastly being. I was faced with a crisis where i felt that i never had enough time, partially because i could never say no to people.
Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing and arent doing, you start to look at how to say yes to whats important. Jun 16, 2017 i recommend the following book by william ury. Dont say yes when you really want to say no have no regrets about having to say no. I feel like i barely made it through 2014 and i cant have another year with a permanent pit in my stomach from all the things i have to be doing. Often well say yes to things that really arent a priority because you dont want people to think youre a jerk. The authors pioneering assertiveness training technique can help you gain recognition and promotion on the job, renew your marriage, put. Dont say yes when you want to say no thought catalog. I say yes to everything because i dont want to come across as mean. Before you start saying no, make it clear to yourself what you want to say yes to.
Making life right when it feels all wrong mass market paperback october 15, 1975 by herbert fensterheim author, jean baer author. How to say no and still get to yes from the books description. May 29, 2012 in the introduction to the book, the author explains that there are three responses to someone who asks us to do something we dont want to do. When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less. Dont say yes when you want to say no by herbert fensterheim, 1978, dell edition, in english new dell ed. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. You have to say no to some things to be able to say yes to others. Buy dont say yes when you want to say no book online at best prices in india on. Thankfully, michael goes into detail on exactly how to say no in these two posts. You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time, says.
Dont allow pangs of guilt to dictate your personal or professional life. Dont say yes when you want to say no a book on assertive training. Never saying no may come at a higher price than you might realise. About dont say yes when you want to say no yes, you can learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. What makes this book different from many others is that the authors recognize that this is not a simple matter. If they say yes, youre happy because the terms or money are so good, it more than compensates for the distraction, possibly even funding the thing you really want to do. It literally gives you the words to string together to say no without appearing mean and hateful. This book is more of a guidebook that helps people realise their strengths and weaknesses and helps them deal with issues in both their private and professional lives. Yes, you can learn to say what you mean and mean what you say. Jan 01, 2000 this book is not only full of examples of how to say no in all kinds of situations, it also offers you guidance on getting to the right attitude behind the word no. Also there is a chapter on handling high maintenance people in your life. This bestselling guide has already transformed thousands of livesand can change your as well.
Provided to youtube by sony music entertainment never say yes elvis presley spinout. When you start reading you may find it uninteresting because of subjects it talks about. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them. Use this rule if youre often overcommitted or too scattered. Jan 01, 2016 this is perfect, angi, and i am with you.
Six reasons to say yes when you really want to say no. From a party you want to skip to a loan you shouldnt lend. How assertiveness training can change your life fensterheim and baer 1975. In todays world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say yes grows greater ev. This usually comes when we value the relationship of the person making the request above the importance of our own interests. When i was 12 i was obsessed with a book on my parents shelf. Making life right when it feels all wrong is a book that helps people live the life that they truly want to. Your kids would probably like you to say only yes and never no. This book is not only full of examples of how to say no in all kinds of situations, it also offers you guidance on getting to the right attitude behind the word no. Aug 12, 2011 open library is an open, editable library catalog, building towards a web page for every book ever published.
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